Celebrating Seven...

Seven years ago this month, I married the man I had been dating for four years, the man I had been engaged to for a year-and-a-half, the man who is truly "the man of my dreams." It is so hard to believe that seven years have come and gone. While the road has definitely had it's bumps and moments of complete and utter chaos, it has been a great road and I could not have picked a better traveling companion.

Jay and I are no longer newlyweds. We are no longer "young and in love." Although, we are most definitely still in love. But, we are "in the thick of it" now. We have reached the big seven!

A lovely friend of mine from college recently posted the following on my Facebook wall: "For some reason, I've always considered 'seven' the year that you're officially no longer a newlywed or 'young married'. Kind of like now you're in the 'officially really truly married for the long haul' club." Friend, I couldn't agree with you more. Jay and I are officially members of the ORTMFTLH Club. And, what a grand club it is! We've made it to our seventh year. Hooray for us!

And, while I am certainly no expert on marriage and am still learning what to do and what NEVER to do, I do know a few things given my seven years of expertise! ;) With that said, here are seven things I have learned thus far:

1. Marry a handy man. He doesn't have to be Bob Villa, but make sure "Mr. Fix It" is located somewhere on his resume. Do not, I repeat, do NOT marry someone who does not know how to take care of a house, refuses to get his hands dirty or someone who can not fix a darn thing. Marry a man who enjoys and is capable of doing manly things. Does he take out the trash, mow the lawn, change the brakes on your car? Is he handy with a circular saw and all the other important "man tools" I am not allowed to touch (heh! heh!)? Does he know how to grill (grilling is very important! ha!)? This is one thing I am very grateful for - I married a MAN. During his high school years and a few years after that, my husband worked for a local hardware store. I will be forever grateful to them for teaching my husband the things he knows today. He has an amazing "knack" for fixing things and he enjoys doing "manly work" inside and outside of the house.

2. Not everyone will like you, but your spouse will always love you. This I have known to be true above everything else. Your day may be filled with family disputes, insignificant squabbles amongst friends or moments where you just want to stab your eyes out. However, when all is said and done, you can rest assured your spouse will always stand by your side and lift you up when you feel like your world is crashing down around you. At least that is how it is in my case. Jay has been my personal savior on many occasions.:)

3. Do not have babies immediately after you get married. Do not do it! Don't get me wrong...I love my babies with every fiber within me, but the one thing I am so proud of us for is that we had three solid years just to ourselves. We traveled, we had weekend getaways, we had friends over on Friday AND Saturday nights, we went out to dinner, we saw several Broadway shows and ballet performances, we took the train into Boston on Saturdays just to "hang out" because we could, we took afternoon naps on Sundays (okay, I took afternoon naps on Sundays), we owned a super cool "date car" (which we plan to own again one day!), we went to the movies OFTEN, we stayed up late, and we slept in late. We celebrated our lives together as a young married couple should. We would come and go whenever we wanted, without a care in the world. And, we have pictures to look back on of the memories we made and the places we visited together. Just the two of us.

4. Allow for some room to breathe. There will be moments when your husband will be in dire need of some "guy time" and time when you will need to laugh, cry or SHOP with a good friend. Don't be the type of wife who cuts off all her single friends, or married friends for that matter. For me, most of my "nearest and best" live the farthest away from me (Michigan, Oklahoma, Texas and Colorado - thank God we have free long distance!). However, just because it seems like they live as far away as the moon doesn't mean we don't gab like we normally would if they lived down the street from me. And, I can not forget my few "besties" who live near bye. They, too, know me through and through and I always enjoy spending time with them, laughing with them and just being myself with them.

5. Do favors! When your spouse says to you, "Honey, can you do me a favor," don't run, don't hide and don't ever ask "Why?". Try to view favors as windows of opportunity to show your love for one another. Pay attention to these windows of opportunity. Don't ever throw them away because you may need to cash in an important favor some day. ;)

6. Just let it go! During years one through five you might find you have acquired the extravagant title of "Nitpicker." Even the littlest things get under your skin and you just can't help but nag. Yes, wives, you WILL do it! Somewhere between years five and six you finally come to the realization that IT IS JUST NOT WORTH IT and the only person getting upset about the situation is you!

For example my husband does not, will not and completely refuses to change the toilet paper roll when it has run out. He will go down to the basement, retrieve a fresh roll and he will even bring it all the way up the second floor bathroom...only to leave it sitting on the cabinet next to the toilet paper holder. And there...it...sits, waiting for me to put it in its rightful place. He will not put it on. It used to drive me up the wall. UP THE WALL!! But, somewhere around year five it became a joke...because I let it go. He thinks it is hilarious because he knows it irritates me to no end, but because I am able to let it go, I can laugh along with him. And, that is when you realize, there are more important things to "discuss" than changing the toilet paper. You have to be able to just fahgettaboudit and laugh it off.

Which brings me to my final "tip"...

7. Laugh together...at least once a day. Even on the hard days, when there is nothing to laugh about, try your darnedest to find at least one thing funny and laugh about it together. Laughter eases tension and helps you to calm down and think clearly so you can face the music together. Lucky for me, I married someone who shares my sense of humor. So, we laugh a lot!

BONUS! Amor Vincit Om. The inside of our weddings bands are engraved with the Latin phrase, "amor vincit om" which means, "love conquers all things." Keep this in mind...always. Love each other and you will love life. Your children will respond positively to and will be affected by your love for one another. By loving one another, your marriage will flourish and you will look back and smile on the things you overcame together.

Jay - Happy seventh, Babe! I love you with all my heart! Thank you for being a wonderful husband, father and friend. You are the best!